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Couples Therapy

Polyamory vs. Open Marriage: What Does Each Relationship Type Mean?

Contrary to what many people believe, monogamy isn’t the only type of marital or committed relationship that people participate in. There are several types of modern-day relationships that cater to different people’s unique preferences.

Flexible ways of living in a non-monogamous relationship are being brought to light. Some people are gravitating to two kinds of non-monogamy – polyamory and open marriage – as a non-traditional way to live. Let’s discuss these two lifestyles.

What Is Open Marriage?

Open marriage is a blanket term for all kinds of consensual non-monogamy that could include swinging, polyamory, and condoned affairs. The key similarity among all of these is consent of all adults involved.

While some participants engage in this practice within their own religious affiliation, such as Muslims or Mormons practicing polygyny (whereby one male has multiple wives or female partners), others fall into the more progressive category for personal preferences.

Swingers

Swinging is the most well-known and most popular form of non-monogamy in marriage relationships. Broadly, it involves the consensual switching of partners for sexual purposes, usually at parties. It involves two or more couples getting together as a group and sharing each other’s spouses.

BDSM

Another type of practice that has gained notoriety through the book and movie Fifty Shades of Grey is BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism). BDSM often involves mainly bondage and domination, but contrary to popular belief, this practice doesn’t always include sex.

BDSM is more about exploring boundaries, emotions, and fantasies. Sado-masochism involves deriving sexual enjoyment while experiencing pain, and/or of inflicting pain or humiliation on another person.

What Is Polyamory?

There has been a recent influx of shows featuring unconventional relationships that include more than one person. These relationships notably display polyamory, which is being committed to and in love with two or more people at the same time.

Polyamory derives its meaning from the Greek word poly meaning many, and the Latin word amare meaning love – therefore, many loves. This is quite different from hidden, secretive affairs – polyamory implies full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.

Contrast this with an open marriage relationship, which mostly centers around lighthearted sex with others outside the marriage. Polyamory means actually being in love with more than one person.

For some people participating in polyamory, there’s a certain misunderstanding of their dynamic. In many cases, polyamorous people will have one “anchor” family that they live with, and other relationships outside of that core group. It can be seen as a way to reduce the restrictions of a more traditional marriage.

However, open relationships should not be used as a way to soften the blow of someone who actually wants to break up or divorce, or to transition out of a committed situation – or, conversely, to keep such a relationship alive. Being open and honest with all adults involved is of utmost importance in all sexual and romantic relationships.

Sex Therapists in New Jersey

A sex-positive and sex-affirming sex and relationship therapy practice, Advanced Psychology Partners is your source for mental health, couples therapy, and sex therapy services. Our therapy sessions are completely confidential, and we’re open to talk about anything you want to talk about.

Whether you have concerns or questions regarding sexual preferences, or you are hoping to resolve couple conflicts or to eradicate sexual problems, we are here for you. For more information, call us at (973) 534-5333, or request a complimentary meet-and-greet with a therapist. We look forward to hearing from you.

How Erectile Dysfunction Can Affect You Psychologically

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a common issue that affects the lives of both men and women. While it can be distressing physically, men can also experience psychological issues when dealing with erectile dysfunction.

Strain on their sex life, lack of communication, and emotional issues on each party’s end can create strain and conflict. Therefore, it’s important to discuss these sensitive issues and be open with each other.

Psychological Issues with ED

Men who struggle with impotency are dealing with more than just the physical condition, but also psychological and emotional distress. Coping with ED can be difficult because many men identify themselves with their ability to perform sexually.

It can be a huge insult to their self-esteem, their masculinity, and their self-confidence. Some men even start to feel depressed.

For their partner, there can be a disconnect of emotion and vulnerability. The partner may interpret certain behaviors incorrectly and feel rejected or unattractive. This can lead to arguments and even break-ups.

Dealing with ED Diagnosis and Treatment

Communication is very important when dealing with ED. Most men avoid talking about erectile dysfunction, especially in the moment in which it happens.

However, not talking about ED can negatively impact a couple’s sexual and personal relationship. Communication allows both partners to confront their feelings about ED and work together to overcome the emotional and psychological traumas, as well as work toward a solution.

One successful solution that has worked for many couples is having a proactive attitude toward erectile dysfunction. Confronting it directly makes both partners feel empowered.

Many professionals will suggest focusing on the moment and connecting with each other during lovemaking – fixating on the intimacy rather than fixating on the physical performance.

Another great tool is sex therapy.

Benefits of Sexual Therapy

In order to have a healthy relationship, couples should address the issue of ED together. Speaking with a therapist can work wonders to help couples get past their problems and improve the couple’s sexual and overall relationship.

Many men, and couples in general, are under the impression that erectile dysfunction is something that can be treated simply by taking a pill. However, meeting with a therapist who is trained in sex therapy can assist men and women in resolving the emotional, psychological, and physical issues that could be the cause of erectile dysfunction.

Sexual counseling can provide crucial assistance in recommending erotic and intimate practices for couples who are dealing with erectile dysfunction to eventually overcome the obstacle.

Sex Therapy in New Jersey

For great sexual health for yourself and your partner, it’s important to have clear communication – even with embarrassing topics like erectile dysfunction.

With the help of professionals at Advanced Psychology Partners, you and your partner can discuss your issues with erectile dysfunction in a therapeutic, safe, comfortable environment.

Our therapists will treat your issue with respect and compassion. Call our offices today at (973) 534-5333 to schedule an appointment, or complete our online appointment request form now. We look forward to helping you enjoy intimacy once again.

Bringing Tools Into The Bedroom

There are many reasons you may want to bring tools into the bedroom. Whether it’s to spice up your sex life, or out of sheer curiosity, sex toys can be a great addition to your sex life. Bringing sex toys into your bedroom may seem like a daunting conversation to have with your partner.  You may be apprehensive that your partner will judge you; you be worry that you will be judged or are afraid that you may be rejected. Bringing tools into the equation can be quite simple if you take a few things into consideration beforehand.

What to do Before You Buy a Sex Toy

Before committing to any sex toy, it’s important to talk to your partner about they feel about it. It may be best to approach the topic with your partner outside of the bedroom when you’re both in a good mood. This allows the subject to be something that’s more distanced, in case they are surprised by the content. Surprising your partner with a new toy may cause your partner to get defensive or feel pressured to go along, even if they’re uncomfortable. Once you’ve both agreed to try it out, you can start small.

Where to Start

You may want to start small with things that set the mood.  Start with some basic tools such as candles, lubricant, massage oils, educational books, and a romantic game. Once you get used to using these, it can create the mood to introduce toys. You will also want to make sure that there are no distractions. Put the smartphone away and have the kids stay with the grandparents for the weekend. That way you can focus on each other.

Discuss What You’re Comfortable With

It’s important to discuss the goal of the tool that you want to bring in. Is the experience you are seeking to create a romantic, sensual or highly erotic? For example, many people know that the correct vibrations can cause orgasms for women more easily than traditional sex. Some tools can enhance the intimacy and sensation for both men and women, even at the same time. Comfort is key with any sexual act or experience. The best way to be comfortable is to be educated.

Get Educated on Your Tools

Beware that you don’t just purchase any toy, as they can be poor quality and even harmful to the body. Any toys you use in or around the body should be 100% silicone, 100% elastomer, or food-grade vinyl. You can shop online, in a specialty store, at home through personal shoppers or even at a local drug store. Also, be sure to be educated on the shape or function of the tools and how to use them safely. You don’t want to have a set of Ben Wa balls go missing.

Speak the Same Language

Before getting underway with any sex toy, it’s important to set up rules of engagement and language. Decide what is acceptable and what is not; be honest and ensure your partner knows not to take anything personally if things don’t go as planned. Remember, a great partnership takes years to build, with lots of give and take, and sometimes compromise.

Experience great sexual health for yourself and your partner with the help of professionals at Advanced Psychology Partners. We assist patients of all sexual orientation and ages and we offer personalized therapy in a comfortable, private environment. Choose the therapist you wish to confide in and you will be treated with the utmost discretion, compassion, and respect. To take the first step on the road to great sexual relationships and experiences, request an appointment today. Call (973) 534-5333 or complete our online appointment request form now.

Eight Questions to Ask Your New Psychologist

Having a new psychologist can be the beginning of an incredible and helpful relationship. Whether a friend recommended their therapist or a doctor referred you to a colleague they believe does good work, you probably have some trust in their judgment to listen to them, even though there may be some information you will want to learn for yourself about their background before you begin. Here are eight questions you should ask your new psychologist:

What are your techniques in therapy?

You’ll probably get a sense of their methods once you start your therapy sessions, but it might put you at ease to know their ways of connecting and helping patients ahead of time.

What can I expect during each session?

There may not be a uniform way that your therapist holds a session. If there is a particular activity that your therapist plans on employing in your sessions, this question will help clue you into that.

How is my confidentiality assured?

If confidentiality is a concern for you, as it is for most people, you may want to know how they keep your information.  They should be compliant with all laws and rules, and ethical in their dealings. If you psychologist uses smart technology such as Facetime or chat apps, are they HIPAA compliant?

Are you available in case of an emergency, such as on weekends or holidays?

Some, not all, therapists give patients a contact number whenever they need to talk outside of sessions.  However, most of the time they are in sessions with other clients, so you will likely have to leave a message and wait for a response. Some may be available after hours, some may not. This is something to discuss with your therapist.

How long are sessions?

A typical session is usually about an hour. Depending on the type of therapist you see and what your goal is, this can be longer. You’ll also want to know for your own scheduling purposes.

How much does a session cost?

If you have insurance, you may have a small copayment. If not, you’ll definitely want to know how much the sessions cost, as they can be costly over time.

What are your typical methods of treatment?

Some psychologists prefer to take more natural, holistic routes of treatment. Others may recommend medications. These will be prescribed by a psychiatrist or your physician.

How did you get into the field of therapy/counseling?

Some patients are skeptical of the motives and abilities of their therapist, especially if they’ve never met with one before. Understanding your therapist’s drive or passion for their career may boost your confidence in their abilities and their desire to help you.

Ask questions that may be specific to your needs or concerns, such as scheduling, past therapy experiences, medications you’re on, whether you are also seeing a psychiatrist if you have any substance abuse concerns, and if you don’t feel safe in your current environment.

You can achieve sexual health with the professionals at Advanced Psychology Partners. Serving patients of all sexual orientation, Advanced Psychology Partners offers personalized, results-oriented therapy in a comfortable, private environment. Choose the therapist you wish to confide in and you will be treated with the utmost discretion, compassion, and respect. To take the first step on the road to recovery, request an appointment today.

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