There are many reasons you may want to bring tools into the bedroom. Whether it’s to spice up your sex life, or out of sheer curiosity, sex toys can be a great addition to your sex life. Bringing sex toys into your bedroom may seem like a daunting conversation to have with your partner. You may be apprehensive that your partner will judge you; you be worry that you will be judged or are afraid that you may be rejected. Bringing tools into the equation can be quite simple if you take a few things into consideration beforehand.
What to do Before You Buy a Sex Toy
Before committing to any sex toy, it’s important to talk to your partner about they feel about it. It may be best to approach the topic with your partner outside of the bedroom when you’re both in a good mood. This allows the subject to be something that’s more distanced, in case they are surprised by the content. Surprising your partner with a new toy may cause your partner to get defensive or feel pressured to go along, even if they’re uncomfortable. Once you’ve both agreed to try it out, you can start small.
Where to Start
You may want to start small with things that set the mood. Start with some basic tools such as candles, lubricant, massage oils, educational books, and a romantic game. Once you get used to using these, it can create the mood to introduce toys. You will also want to make sure that there are no distractions. Put the smartphone away and have the kids stay with the grandparents for the weekend. That way you can focus on each other.
Discuss What You’re Comfortable With
It’s important to discuss the goal of the tool that you want to bring in. Is the experience you are seeking to create a romantic, sensual or highly erotic? For example, many people know that the correct vibrations can cause orgasms for women more easily than traditional sex. Some tools can enhance the intimacy and sensation for both men and women, even at the same time. Comfort is key with any sexual act or experience. The best way to be comfortable is to be educated.
Get Educated on Your Tools
Beware that you don’t just purchase any toy, as they can be poor quality and even harmful to the body. Any toys you use in or around the body should be 100% silicone, 100% elastomer, or food-grade vinyl. You can shop online, in a specialty store, at home through personal shoppers or even at a local drug store. Also, be sure to be educated on the shape or function of the tools and how to use them safely. You don’t want to have a set of Ben Wa balls go missing.
Speak the Same Language
Before getting underway with any sex toy, it’s important to set up rules of engagement and language. Decide what is acceptable and what is not; be honest and ensure your partner knows not to take anything personally if things don’t go as planned. Remember, a great partnership takes years to build, with lots of give and take, and sometimes compromise.
Experience great sexual health for yourself and your partner with the help of professionals at Advanced Psychology Partners. We assist patients of all sexual orientation and ages and we offer personalized therapy in a comfortable, private environment. Choose the therapist you wish to confide in and you will be treated with the utmost discretion, compassion, and respect. To take the first step on the road to great sexual relationships and experiences, request an appointment today. Call (973) 743-2990 or complete our online appointment request form now.