Bed death is when two people in a committed relationship no longer have sex as often as both or either would like. Sometimes it is referred to as a “sexless relationship” because of the infrequency of intimate relations. Here in the U.S., it is estimated that there are approximately 20 million people in sexless relationships.
This issue of bed death is a very real phenomenon among couples for many reasons. First, people naturally mellow out as we age. Second, there may be health issues or ancillary issues that are interfering with the levels of desire. Third, people these days are often distracted by cell phones and the internet.
When both people are no longer open and honest about this subject with each other, this is what needs to be addressed.
When Couples No Longer Have Sex
Whereas new couples cannot keep their hands off of one another, older or more long-term couples in some cases no longer touch one another. Many couples break up due to an apparent lack of interest in each other.
That is why it is so important to sit down and broach the subject. Sometimes people are afraid to discuss bed death for fear of more unhappiness, so they stay silent and suffer – but do not let this happen to you.
Come up with an ideal frequency of when you would like to have sex, and have your partner do the same. Then talk to each other about it.
How to Improve My Relationship with My Partner
That is a good starting point for discussions about what has happened to your sex life and why it has happened. It also provides the opportunity to start scheduling date nights and make time for them.
Spend time cuddling and just enjoying being together. Turn off those phones, and remove distractions. One thing may lead to another, but if it doesn’t, at least you have shared an intimate evening of simply being in each other’s company without answering texts.
Why Did We Stop Having Sex?
Bed death is a fairly common occurrence and can be caused by distractions, worries, stress, health, and other things that are getting in the way. If you don’t want it to be a problem, have an earnest discussion with each other.
A sexless marriage or relationship does not mean anything is wrong unless one or both partners are unhappy about it. The only people whose opinions matter in this instance are you two. Nobody else should be involved in defining your relationship, period.
Who Can Help Us Resolve Bed Death?
When two people in a relationship are no longer having sexual relations with each other, or they are having sex much less often than one or both would prefer, it is best to see an experienced sex therapist to help get past the issues that are causing it. This issue does not mean that the relationship is broken – it is indeed fixable.
Talk to relationship experts who have decades of experience in the field of marriage, relationships, and sexual intimacy. We are conveniently located in Montclair, New Jersey, about a block away from Bloomfield Avenue on Fullerton.