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Dr. Donna Lobiondo

How Does Couples Therapy Work?

Congratulations to you and your partner for seeking out couples therapy to get through an impasse or work through a problem to take your relationship to the next level. Once you have selected a therapist who is right for you, you will start your sessions. But how does couples therapy work? Here are a few things you can expect.

Couples Therapy is a Process

For couples therapy to be effective, both parties have to want to be active, engaged, and honest participants. That’s because couples therapy is a process, not a series of isolated sessions. Don’t expect a free for all with finger-pointing and “he said/she said.” Rather, couples therapy is most effective when it is used to to identify problems, then working through these problems without conflict to develop solutions and methodologies to reach your goals.

Expect Change

Change isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, when guided by a trained professional, change can result in growth, awareness, and an opportunity to re-evaluate feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. Your therapist will not only serve as a counselor but also as a facilitator so both parties can express their perspectives in a judgment-free, safe environment, where growth is both nurtured and encouraged.

Expect Homework

Throughout your sessions, you should expect to explore communication styles, feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that are impacting your relationship. And don’t expect the work to stop once the session is over. Your therapist may ask you to keep a journal, practice behaviors at home or try new ways of approaching a scenario.

Expect a Unique Experience

Before engaging in couples therapy, you may seek advice from a friend or scan the web for a how-to of what to expect. Remember, couples counseling is anything but one-size-fits-all. Each couple is unique as a union, as well as the individuals that comprise it. Your therapist may recommend individual sessions, joint sessions – or both; whatever is best for you. No matter the type of relationship you’re in – whether heterosexual or alternative sexuality communities; or whatever lifestyle you choose to practice, you should feel comfortable and accepted in your space and with your counseling professional.

It May Get Awkward

Discussing sexuality and intimacy, dysfunction, lifestyle preferences, and fidelity can be awkward and uncomfortable. Still, you should be prepared to incorporate these or any other relevant topics into the conversation. As you and your partner feel more comfortable opening up about topics that are impacting your relationship, your therapist will be better able to gauge the success of your personalized, results-oriented therapy plan.

Couples Therapy in Montclair

Advanced Psychology Partners in Montclair, NJ, provides individualized, discreet and results-oriented counseling and therapy for individuals and couples. Our expert team of Donna Lobiondo, MDiv, Ph.D. and Eric Larsen, MA, LPC ensures patients get the specialized counseling they need in a judgment-free, safe space. To schedule an appointment with Donna or Eric, use our online form, or call us at (973) 534-5333. Not sure what to expect? Please inquire about our FREE 10-minute phone consultation to see if our services are right for you.

Eight Questions to Ask Your New Psychologist

Having a new psychologist can be the beginning of an incredible and helpful relationship. Whether a friend recommended their therapist or a doctor referred you to a colleague they believe does good work, you probably have some trust in their judgment to listen to them, even though there may be some information you will want to learn for yourself about their background before you begin. Here are eight questions you should ask your new psychologist:

What are your techniques in therapy?

You’ll probably get a sense of their methods once you start your therapy sessions, but it might put you at ease to know their ways of connecting and helping patients ahead of time.

What can I expect during each session?

There may not be a uniform way that your therapist holds a session. If there is a particular activity that your therapist plans on employing in your sessions, this question will help clue you into that.

How is my confidentiality assured?

If confidentiality is a concern for you, as it is for most people, you may want to know how they keep your information.  They should be compliant with all laws and rules, and ethical in their dealings. If you psychologist uses smart technology such as Facetime or chat apps, are they HIPAA compliant?

Are you available in case of an emergency, such as on weekends or holidays?

Some, not all, therapists give patients a contact number whenever they need to talk outside of sessions.  However, most of the time they are in sessions with other clients, so you will likely have to leave a message and wait for a response. Some may be available after hours, some may not. This is something to discuss with your therapist.

How long are sessions?

A typical session is usually about an hour. Depending on the type of therapist you see and what your goal is, this can be longer. You’ll also want to know for your own scheduling purposes.

How much does a session cost?

If you have insurance, you may have a small copayment. If not, you’ll definitely want to know how much the sessions cost, as they can be costly over time.

What are your typical methods of treatment?

Some psychologists prefer to take more natural, holistic routes of treatment. Others may recommend medications. These will be prescribed by a psychiatrist or your physician.

How did you get into the field of therapy/counseling?

Some patients are skeptical of the motives and abilities of their therapist, especially if they’ve never met with one before. Understanding your therapist’s drive or passion for their career may boost your confidence in their abilities and their desire to help you.

Ask questions that may be specific to your needs or concerns, such as scheduling, past therapy experiences, medications you’re on, whether you are also seeing a psychiatrist if you have any substance abuse concerns, and if you don’t feel safe in your current environment.

You can achieve sexual health with the professionals at Advanced Psychology Partners. Serving patients of all sexual orientation, Advanced Psychology Partners offers personalized, results-oriented therapy in a comfortable, private environment. Choose the therapist you wish to confide in and you will be treated with the utmost discretion, compassion, and respect. To take the first step on the road to recovery, request an appointment today.

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