Ashley Madison is the notorious website where people go to find people with whom to have an extramarital affair. When the website was hacked in 2015, and all of the users’ names and personal information were made publicly available on the internet, it revealed that 32 million people had used this website.
But one thing the hack didn’t reveal was the reasons behind why so many people used the website in the first place. What were the reasons? Was it to actually meet and cheat? To feel empowered? To feel wanted? To feel attractive?
Reasons Behind Ashley Madison’s Success
Part of the attraction toward things on the internet as a whole is the feeling of anonymity. A person can rationalize, “I’m just typing on a keyboard. I’m not doing anything wrong.” The next step of meeting the individual in person then comes more naturally, because you have already established a connection.
A woman needs to feel loved, and a man needs to feel respected. If these are missing from a marriage, either or both partners are likely to stray and look elsewhere to get what they need from other people.
Why Women Cheat and Why Men Cheat
For women who are exploring beyond their marriage for affection, their cheating may have more to do with wanting to be appreciated and wanting to feel attractive. For a man, if he feels threatened by his wife’s professional success, the man is much more likely to cheat than a man who does not feel threatened in this way.
That is the main reason why the Ashley Madison website was so popular – people were looking for what they were missing in their romantic relationships.
Other Reasons
Someone who makes a lot of money may feel that the rules don’t apply to them, so they may be more apt to cheat. They may be accustomed to getting their way and feel like they can smooth anything over with compliments and apologies.
Other people who cheat feel like they need the ego boost that comes from being considered attractive or wanted by a new person or a stranger. If a woman’s partner never or rarely compliments her and suddenly this stranger on Ashley Madison’s website is gushing over her beauty, it may seem irresistible.
Certain environmental and family factors, such as coming from a broken home where one or both parents cheated, can also make a person more likely to cheat themselves when they are older. If they were raised seeing this in their own family, it will affect their relationships through adulthood.
Sex Therapists in New Jersey
If you or your partner has cheated, there are underlying reasons for it. Seeking professional assistance from experienced sex therapists can help couples regroup and move past the past, and start anew. It takes work, but so do lots of things.
If you and/or your partner wish to try counseling, contact us today at Advanced Psychology Partners. Call (973) 534-5333 or request an appointment online now. Let us help you break the ice so you and your partner can develop a great relationship again.
